


As Wind in Dry Grass

by Tedronai



Series: Endverse [1]
Category: Wheel of Time - Robert Jordan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-29
Updated: 2018-03-29
Packaged: 2019-04-14 16:39:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14140143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tedronai/pseuds/Tedronai
Summary: Nynaeve al'Meara has found a way to Heal thesaidin-induced madness, but this is not necessarily good news for Taim, who has been channelling the taintedsaidinfor more than fifteen years. Yet, when the forces of Light refuse to work with him unless he submits to the Healing, what choice does he have?





	As Wind in Dry Grass

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, my first WoT fic in over a year is an obscure-as-all-fuck installment in my obscure-as-all-fuck AU but enjoy I guess? :'D This is set ~4 years before The World May Burn, according to my old timeline which may or may not be getting revamped, but either way, significantly before the fall of the Black Tower.
> 
> Anyway I'm hoping to step up the fic game this year, I was challenged to publish at least a fic every month so we'll see how that goes. I'm hoping that, now that I've started, it'll turn out a ridiculously unambitious goal and I'll end up doing way more than that, but. Yeah. We'll see.

Taim watched as the Forsaken was marched towards the open gateway back to Tar Valon. Even with the silver collar secure around his neck, Moridin was kept shielded by a circle of seven Aes Sedai and six Asha’man. He walked surrounded by twelve more Asha’man, his hands bound behind his back, dried blood from the gash on his left temple — not Healed, of course — covering the side of his face, yet somehow he managed to project the impression of perfect composure and mild boredom. He glanced at Taim as he walked by and his mouth twitched in a small, sardonic smile. A single black speck drifted across the blue eyes, first one, then the other. True Power. Taim had a persistent suspicion that the collar — the _a’dam_ — didn’t prevent Moridin from accessing the True Power, but for whatever reason the Forsaken had put up only a cursory fight and all but surrendered before the number of Aes Sedai and Asha’man. Something like amusement flashed in the ancient eyes, but the guards didn’t allow the prisoner to slow down and they were soon past Taim.

That was just as well, Taim reflected. The magnitude of what he had done was only just beginning to sink in and he wasn’t sure how well he would handle being stared down by the Nae’blis.

He had betrayed the Nae’blis. He had led a group of Aes Sedai and Asha’man to the Blight Fortress and they had captured Moridin.

Even more remarkably, he had _survived_ all of that.

The Aes Sedai and Asha’man maintaining the shield went through the gateway after their charge. Taim recognised some of the number; Elayne Trakand had barely changed in the past six years, except for the Aes Sedai agelessness that was beginning to settle upon her features. And the short woman with a long braid and the _ki’sain_ between her brows had to be Nynaeve Mandragoran. Funny, that; Taim had expected her to be taller. Egwene al’Vere, the Amyrlin Seat, wore the bracelet linked to the _a’dam_ herself and followed the prisoner closely, a grim cast to her not-quite-ageless face.

 

“Everything alright?”

Taim started at the voice that spoke quietly by his left shoulder. He turned to look at Charl Gedwyn, his second-in-command. A few years younger and half a head shorter than Taim, the Andoran had an unassuming appearance that belied his true abilities. Underestimating Gedwyn had proved a fatal mistake for many a foe over the years. Now the man was looking at Taim with what might have been a hint of concern in the grey eyes.

“As far as could be expected,” Taim replied. Gedwyn had been with him since the beginning — Gedwyn and Manel Rochaid were his most senior officers still alive, they had fought at Dumai’s Wells what seemed like several lifetimes ago — and he had been one of the few people Taim had trusted with his plans to break away from the Shadow before the fact. And Gedwyn was the one whose team had located Logain and his group of Asha’man in the Seanchan ambush when Genhald had been unwilling to share the information on their whereabouts with Taim upon their return to the Black Tower… Light, had it only been a week back? It felt longer than that.

“I take it we’re still not expecting a particularly warm welcome back?” Gedwyn said, not really a question. “We’ve delivered them Moridin, the flaming Nae’blis. What more do they want?”

Taim snorted. “My head on a silver platter,” he replied. “But most of them are willing to wait until the Seanchan have been dealt with.”

“Mighty generous of them,” Gedwyn muttered darkly, folding his arms across his chest.

Taim was about to reply, but then the last of the Aes Sedai were through the gateway, and Logain was gesturing for Taim and the rest of the Asha’man and former Dreadlords to follow. Taim shrugged as he started towards Logain and the gateway. “If the Seanchan win we’ll never get to worry about that, so let’s hope we get to a point where we have to worry about it.”

“True enough,” Gedwyn replied, following a step behind.

 

The hallway they emerged in was deserted except for the company escorting the prisoner. By the look of it, this was not a particularly oft-used part of the White Tower; Taim assumed that al’Vere didn’t want people ogling at the captured Forsaken. Or perhaps she thought the presence of such a prisoner would scare people and was hoping to keep it a secret altogether. That seemed like the wisest course, but Taim wasn’t sure how efficiently the secret could be contained when it was already known to as many people as it was.

Taim approached Logain once everyone were through and the gateway closed. “Are we still needed here?” he asked. He and his men — those who had followed him over from the Shadow — were temporarily housed at the Black Tower, not as prisoners but nonetheless closely supervised. Some of them did not particularly appreciate the arrangement, especially those who had not been Asha’man before turning to the Shadow, but it was an arrangement that all parties could tolerate for the time being.  
Logain glanced at the prisoner and his escort. “There’s still… the other thing,” he said.

_The other thing._ Taim grimaced. “Does it have to be now?” he asked. “I don’t see why it has to be done at all; I’m as sane as you are.”

Logain shrugged, looking distinctly uncomfortable. “What have you got to lose, then?” he asked. “You must know how difficult it is for them to work alongside us, even though they know they have no choice. The taint still causes casualties every now and then, when someone snaps in a violent way and can’t be restrained and brought to Nynaeve Sedai.”

Taim knew he was right. The Aes Sedai were never going to trust him — not that he cared — and they were going to require every bit of reassurance to work with him at all. He would have to subject himself to the Healing, probably sooner rather than later. “But does it have to be now?” he repeated. “It’s been a long day.”

“I’m afraid so,” Logain replied. “You’re here, Nynaeve Sedai will be free soon, no reason to delay. You can send your men back to the Black Tower or they can stay and wait for you. Your call.”

Taim shook his head with a sigh. “Gedwyn,” he called, raising his voice slightly. The Andoran came at a half-run and saluted. “Take the men back to the Black Tower. There’s business I must deal with here. I don’t want anyone doing anything stupid in the meanwhile, is that clear?”

“Absolutely, sir.” The Asha’man glanced at Logain, than back at the group waiting just out of earshot. “Will this business take long, if I may ask?”

“Probably not,” Taim replied. “But it depends on Nynaeve Sedai.”

At the mention of Nynaeve Sedai, Gedwyn frowned. “I’d suggest that someone stays with you,” he said, perfectly deferential but with a hint of insistence that told Taim he was prepared to argue the point. “I wouldn’t count on the Aes Sedai remembering that you’re an ally if they manage to get you alone with enough of them to…”

“I’m not exactly planning to let them shield me,” Taim replied wryly. “But very well.” He thought for a moment. It would be best if both Gedwyn and Rochaid returned to the Black Tower; in Taim’s absence, Gedwyn was the one whose authority most of the men respected, and Rochaid had a way of convincing those who might voice doubts. “Marle can stay,” he decided eventually. Estevan Marle was loyal in his own way, and his particular streak of nastiness had very little to do with the taint if at all.

If Gedwyn had doubts about the choice, he was clever enough not to voice them. Then again, he likely didn’t; he was at least as good a judge of character as Taim, and knew as well as Taim where Marle’s loyalties lay. “Yes, sir,” he said, saluted and turned on his heels, shouting for Marle as he went.

* * *

A short while later the three of them — Logain, Taim and Marle — were waiting for Nynaeve Sedai in what looked like a small conference room; there was a table in the middle with seats for seven people around it, a separate table to one side for refreshments, and shelves of what seemed like books on trade, history and the laws of various nations of the Westlands lined the walls. Logain wondered idly when any of them had last been used. Marle picked one of the books seemingly at random and sat down to read. Taim glanced at the man with a hint of his characteristic, wry almost-smile, but made no comment. He seemed to be trying to project an air of calm confidence and boredom, but Logain could see the small signs of tension that would certainly have escaped anyone who didn’t know Taim.

It was strange, he reflected, that he could still say that he _knew_ Taim; it had been six years since Logain had taken over the Black Tower in the aftermath of Rand al’Thor’s death, and even before that he and Taim had not exactly had a close working relationship. But there had been… a connection. It had manifested in disastrous ways — mutual mistrust turned to bitter rivalry — but there was no denying it had been there.

They didn’t have to wait too long until Nynaeve Sedai arrived. She wasn’t alone, of course; her husband and Warder, Lan Mandragoran, hovered close behind her, one hand on the hilt of his sword. Four other women followed, two wearing the white dresses of the Accepted, and two with the yellow-fringed shawls marking them as Aes Sedai but without the ageless look, meaning they had been but recently raised. The last two to enter were the Asha’man Jahar Narishma and his bond-holder, Merise Haindehl of the Green Ajah. They remained near the door, presumably both holding the Power although Logain could only be sure of Narishma. The pretty Asha’man was holding enough _saidin_ to make Logain suspect he had brought an _angreal_ for the occasion.

“Might we get to the point?” Nynaeve Sedai asked coolly.

Taim spread his hands. “Absolutely.” He bowed slightly to let the Aes Sedai take his head between her hands.

Nynaeve did so, and a look of concentration settled over her features. After a while, a small frown creased her brow. “I need a circle,” she said. Taim gave her a sharp look and Marle set his book aside, watching the scene intently, but the Aes Sedai ignored both. In fact she ignored everything other than the two Yellow sisters, who nodded silently and presumably — not that Logain could see anything — linked with her. Then she focused her attention on Taim again.

 

The Healing itself seemed to take a long time, longer than it should. Logain kept his eyes on Taim, aware that Marle was doing the same and unaccountably comforted by the fact that he wasn’t alone in his concern. Taim was not easy to read, even now, and his rigid posture and the tightness around his eyes might have been from nerves, anger, exhaustion or pain; it was impossible to tell…

Until several long minutes later, something changed; something seemed to snap. Taim suddenly jerked back, out of Nynaeve’s reach, eyes wild and his breathing ragged and uneven. The Aes Sedai looked startled, alarmed even, hands still held out towards him. And then a scream like nothing Logain had ever heard before split the air, a sound of such despair that he almost couldn’t believe it came from Taim.

Logain was at his side in an instant, kneeling beside him as he sank onto the floor, afraid to touch him for fear of making things worse. At the same time, Marle shot to his feet and rounded on Nynaeve Sedai, drawing deeply on _saidin_.

“What did you do to him?” Marle demanded, voice taut with rage.

“Marle—” Logain tried to intercede at the same time as Lan Mandragoran drew his sword and somehow placed himself between his wife and the former Dreadlord without ever seeming to move. “You will show respect to Nynaeve Sedai,” the Warder said in a smooth, hard voice. Marle barely seemed to acknowledge the sword at his throat, busy as he was glaring murder at everything that happened within his field of vision but Nynaeve Sedai especially.

Flows of Air from Narishma wound around Marle, freezing him in place. Taim had stopped screaming — thank the Light — but didn’t seem aware of his surroundings; he was staring at nothing with wild, frantic eyes and his breath came in short, convulsive gasps. Logain looked from him to Nynaeve, but the Aes Sedai was still focused on Marle, who suddenly wasn’t holding _saidin_ anymore. Judging by the look on his face, the last part was not voluntary. His face twisted in a horrible parody of a grin and his voice shook with fury as he spoke, “You’re going to regret this, _Aes Sedai_ …”

“Marle, for Light’s sake, shut up,” Logain snapped. “Nynaeve Sedai—” he tried again, but the woman was not listening. Instead she advanced on Marle and slapped him across the face. Logain’s patience was at an end. “That’s enough, all of you!” he roared. He didn’t bother enhancing his voice with the Power; it was quite sufficient without. “Marle, shut up,” he repeated. “Narishma, release him. Nynaeve Sedai, please… He has no way of knowing what you did. As far as he knows, you just attacked his commanding officer. You can release the shield, he won’t do anything stupid.”

After a few heartbeats of staring blankly at Logain, they obeyed. Logain kept a wary eye on Marle, despite his words not entirely sure the man wouldn’t attempt something. But Marle seemed to have forgotten the presence of the Aes Sedai or indeed anyone else but Taim; he knelt beside Taim and ran a Delving. Whatever he found, it made him shake his head in a frustrated manner. He channelled a delicate weave of Spirit, and caught Taim as the Saldaean slumped forward. Holding Taim awkwardly in his arms, Marle looked up at Nynaeve Sedai again. “You could have killed him,” he said flatly.

“The Healing was risky, yes,” Nynaeve replied, unfazed.

“It was unnecessary,” Marle said, his voice rising close to a shout again. Logain couldn’t remember hearing him ever raise his voice in his time at the Black Tower.

“And it’s too late to argue about that now,” Logain interjected before Nynaeve could reply. “A more relevant question right now is what can we do? Other than whatever it is you already did,” he added, nodding at Marle.

The man grimaced and glanced down at Taim, looking distinctly uncomfortable. “I just made him sleep,” he said, almost defensively. “Which may help his mind process the change, or it may not. We won’t know until he wakes up.” He flashed a humourless grin and there was a slight note of hysteria in his voice when he added, “May he forgive me when he does.”

“I’m sure he will,” Logain muttered, remembering the look of blind terror in Taim’s eyes before he collapsed and the raw, ragged scream. Whatever the Healing had released in him, it looked painful and not something you wanted to go through awake.

Nynaeve seemed to agree. “It was a good call,” she said with something like grudging approval. She hesitated for a moment. “I can arrange for a guest room for your use if you wish, or would you rather take him back to the Black Tower right away?”

Logain glanced at Marle, who just gave him a blank look, unwilling to take responsibility for the decision. Logain sighed. “Thank you, Nynaeve Sedai,” he said, “but I think it’s best if I take him home. To the Black Tower,” he amended. He wondered where Taim considered his home was. He wondered if Taim had ever concerned himself with such thoughts. He picked Taim up, as gently as he could. Marle was of no help; he appeared thoroughly relieved to be rid of his charge. Logain thought of asking him to make the gateway, but decided otherwise. He nodded his farewell to Nynaeve Sedai and wove a gateway straight to his quarters in the Black Tower.

 

The finest in the Black Tower, Logain’s living quarters had been Taim’s back in the days. Logain hadn’t moved into the so-called Palace until almost a year after taking over as the M’Hael — not because he had liked his little house in the village so much, but because he had associated the Palace with Taim’s reign. Androl Genhald had eventually pointed out that unless Logain moved in, people would continue to make the association, and they didn’t exactly have time to be taking the whole building down. Androl had been right, of course; he often was.

Logain set Taim down on the wide bed, then turned to see Marle watching him with a nearly hostile look. Logain sighed. “Don’t be an idiot, Marle,” he said. He could hear the exhaustion in his own voice. “We can’t exactly take him to the barracks like this.” Taim and his men were for the time being housed in one of the buildings originally built to house new soldiers. There was not much privacy there, even if you didn’t share a room. “We’ll need to keep an eye on him until he wakes up, and I can do that here while I catch up on correspondence. Can you suggest a better arrangement?”

Marle couldn’t. He paced back and forth for a moment, carefully avoiding looking at Taim, until he came to a halt by the bed. He frowned down at the still form of his commander. “I don’t know when he’ll wake up,” he said. “That’s completely up to him, now. And if it takes much longer, we need to tell at least Gedwyn and Rochaid or we’ll have a problem once the rumour gets out that he hasn’t come back from the White Tower.”

Logain nodded slowly. “So…” he said hesitantly. “I hope you have an idea as for what to tell them, because I don’t.”

“Something went wrong with the Healing,” Marle said after a moment. He looked up at Logain with a humourless grin. “Enough truth in it to satisfy even an Aes Sedai, and less likely to provoke a rash reaction than telling them the full truth. I doubt they would take it too well if I told them that Nynaeve Sedai—” he all but snarled the name “—knew the risks but insisted on doing it anyway.”

A part of Logain wanted to defend the Aes Sedai; whatever she thought of the likes of Taim — or, Light, even Logain himself — she was never intentionally cruel and wouldn’t knowingly harm a patient. But he didn’t think Marle wanted to hear it. “That’ll do,” he said instead. “Now why don’t you run along and take the news to Gedwyn.”

Though Marle didn’t look too happy about being ordered around, he obeyed.


End file.
